11-02-2019 06:08 PM
I was on medication for anxiety for over 7 years. I made the decision to stop taking the medication cold turkey about 7 months ago - without any GP or psychologist support. Really silly, I know but I was over the side effects. I had put on loads of weight, I was sleeping all the time but mostly I hated the feeling of having no emotions. I am super emotional. I get upset by injustices in the world. When I was on the meds I just was flat.
Now I'm really struggling with anxiety. I am back seeing a psychologist but am not back on the drugs (although my GP has given me a prescription). I have a constant feeling of dread to the point of physical pain.
I don't want to go back on medication. I want to be me. Sometimes I think we need more people in the world who do get angry at things being so unfair...the way people with intellectual disabilities are treated is my 'thing'.
Anyway. I'd love to hear what you think. Medication vs emotion (and struggling with anxiety).
13-02-2019 09:08 AM
Hi and welcome @Betharina 🖐
I'm sorry no-one's replied to your post before now. I've suffered with anxiety and know how devistating it can be, so I'm here to support you any way I can.
I'm sorry you've found yourself in this situation, though I don't quite understand this lack of emotion you describe. From what you've written, it sounds more like you've lost your passion than emotion itself. I sort of get that because I've been there.
If you think about it, passion for life or worldly concerns, tends to get in the way of recovery as it's all about getting to know yourself better and finding new ways of approaching life. Anxiety's caused through the brain's fight/flight/freeze response being overwhelmed by stress, so rest and living a simple existence for a while does heaps to get back on track.
All that adrenaline pumping through your body at any given time isn't healthy as you'd know. Retraining your brain to work properly again takes time, patience and commitment; it's a slow step by step process of undoing old dysfunctional habits and replacing them with functional ones.
It took me 4 years to gain some semblence of passion back into my life after my breakdown. I cried with relief when it happened because it'd been so long since I'd felt that drive and will. It was a long process with lots of hard work undoing all the damage stress and trauma had done. Developing a new sense of self was my goal; to have more confidence and ability to cope with life's challenges.
Medication alone can't do this for you. It might numb the anxiety, but it doesn't help to treat the 'cause' of your disorder. Do you have an idea of the reasons why anxiety began in the first place? I'd love to read your story if you're up to telling me.
I log in most days, so if you hit the thumbs-up button and tag me in your post, (press the @ symbol and choose a name from the drop-down menu) I'll pick it up and reply.
It's lovely to meet you Beth. I hope you see this as I feel there's lots I can offer in the way of support. Please take care; I look forward to hearing from you.
18-02-2019 06:00 PM
I feel like I've started to get my head around this 'getting better' stuff. It would be so much easier if they could just take a blood test and say 'yes, you have XXX mental illess and you need to do ABC for 2 months and you'll be better"... :-)
Pocasts on lived experince have become my best friend!! I'm going to work as hard as I can to stay of medication...eating properly, exercise, sleep...and I'm going to get back out into the land of volunteering too. It's such a great thing to help people.
Thanks for the chat
18-02-2019 10:21 PM
love your "team chatty"
and your desire to volunteer. Its a huge area and has given me structure, meaning and social contact again.
I support those who want to go med free, and try and take the minimum needed. When I first posted on this forum I was on less meds than currently, but in the broader scheme of things am still on a low dose given the stressors I have experienced.
I have had a lot of anxiety since I was a child, but also have ways of masking it.
19-02-2019 05:14 PM
I remember my first super anxious feeling when I was in grade 2 - so about 7. And then again at about 12. Then from teenage-hood - pretty much all the time.
I think that we've both had loads of experince in masking our anxiety by the sounds of things...many, many years practice!! I can honestly say I don't think I'd be here without meds and I who knows, one day I may need to go back on them. We do what we can :-)
23-02-2019 08:56 AM
I thought I'd pop in and say 'Hi' and see how you're going. 🖐😊 Also to explain, if you don't tag members in your post, we won't know you've replied. We check our notifications when red numbers appear (the bell pic at top right of page) and follow up on who's responded to us or hit the support button.
If you press the @ symbol, a drop-down menu appears with usernames of people on your thread. Press on one of them and it automatically appears in the post (as above in aqua with your name and Apple's)
I hope you weren't upset when no-one replied or supported your last entry Beth. It'd be nice to hear from you again if that's ok. Everyone needs a shoulder now and then.
25-02-2019 08:50 AM
Hi @Betharina just saw your post now. I've been coming and going from the forum trying to get on top of lots of trouble. Just wanted to say that your experiences really ring true with me, and you'll find lots of us here on the forum; you're not alone. Take care.
25-02-2019 06:03 PM
Hey @Betharina, I read your post and I’m just popping in to offer my support. I’ve been on and off medication over the last 7 years, and I’ve also made some abrupt choices about quitting at times. I just started on a new med after several months of slipping further and further downhill, but I’m still really hesitant about it.
Side effects have always been a big inconvenience for me, and I especially resonate with what you say about feeling flat. It often feels like the top and bottom of my range of emotions have both been reduced, which is good for keeping my head above water, but not so good for connecting with the things I feel passionate about.
I hope you can keep up with your self-care routines, because that makes a huge difference in regards to whether or not meds are needed. Good luck!
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